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Dear Momma Cat,

I am a miserable little kitty. My momma sent me to live with new humans. I really miss my momma and my nine brothers and sisters. My new humans put me in a small room all by myself. I was so lonely! I cried and cried, but my momma didn’t come.

At least they put a clean litter box in my room. They come to clean it every day, and they bring me clean water and fresh food twice a day. They seem like really nice humans. The worst thing they did was when they put me in a little cage and took me in something they called a ‘car’ to a place called ‘the vet’.

I soon learned the vet is a cruel human with a torture chamber for animals. She put me on a hard, cold table and poked and prodded me all over. Then she took a tube with a very sharp thing at one end, and she poked me with it. That really hurt! Then my humans put me back in the little cage and took me back to their house and put me back in my little room.

After a few more days, they let me out of the room, and I found out that my humans have little humans living with them. That was when the real torture started.

The little humans are girl humans, and they seem to think that I am one of their playthings. They keep putting clothes on me; they hold me upside down and carry me around like a human cub; and they put me into something called a ‘stroller’ (like a bed, but it moves) and they push me around in it.

What can I do about these little humans? I don’t want to have to bite and scratch them, but sometimes it’s the only way I can get free. Especially the time they tried to put me in a tub full of water because they thought I needed a bath.

I really hope you can help me, Momma Cat. I can’t stand it here! Now I am hearing the big humans talking about taking me back to the vet to do something called ‘neutering’ to me. I don’t know what that means, but if it is something that the cruel vet does to felines, I’ve got to get out of this place!

I remain;

Humiliated Tomcat

Dear Tom,

You might not want to hear this, but your new humans sound like responsible staff for cats. I know all about vets. They are not cruel to felines, honest. The things that your vet does to you might hurt, but they are for your own good. Trust me.

Now, about your girl humans wanting to dress you up and play with you. This may sound cruel, but if you want them to stop, you will have to scratch them. Here is what I expect will happen: the girls will go running to the grown up humans and they will be crying about the scratches. From what you have told me about them, I suspect that your humans are already trained. A well trained human will tell their young that getting scratched is what happens when they play with you like a doll.

You are actually a fortunate kitty. Your humans are cleaning your litter box and taking you to the vet. The little girls who are tormenting you now will grow up soon. I know it seems like a long time for a kitten, but in two or three years they will be turning in their dolls for make- up and gadgets that will keep their attention for hours with something called “Facebook.”

So just be patient with your humans. It sounds like you have found a good home.

Yours meowingly,

Momma Cat

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  1. dazzlejazz

    On January 26, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    ROFL!!!! Yep, I’m guilty as charged! I did it when I was a kid, my daughter did it when she was younger too. Poor kitty!!

  2. dazzlejazz

    On January 26, 2012 at 9:27 pm

    …and by the way Karen,I think you have a book here by compiling all these ‘Dear Momma Cat’ letters together!

  3. Terrie Schultz

    On January 26, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    When my kids were small they used to dress up the kitten in doll clothes. I still have pictures of him in a little yellow dress and a red Santa jacket. He forgave them eventually.

  4. Hettie

    On January 27, 2012 at 1:06 am

    Great article karen, I didn’t try to dress up a cat but I did try with a lamb good thing there’s no ewe adviser :)

  5. A Bromley

    On January 27, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    Another great article, Karen. I love your Momma Cat series and am looking forward to the next one. Not only are they a fun read but there are some good lessons for humans and pets in them. Keep sharing.

  6. BruceW

    On February 10, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    As you’ve no doubt stumbled on, Momma Cat, these adult humans are just as prone to posing us kittens in supposedly “cute” ways – with the added humiliation that they then post the pics on the internet. Maybe a sharp claw to the broadband cable is required in these cases?

  7. avissado

    On February 10, 2012 at 9:08 pm

    keep going momma. We are enjoying reading your posts

  8. Uma Shankari

    On February 10, 2012 at 9:15 pm

    Very enjoyable…

  9. Daisy Peasblossom

    On February 11, 2012 at 12:26 am

    Yup…I dressed up my kitties, too. Some of them didn’t mind it, some hated it.

  10. Melinda McQueen

    On February 11, 2012 at 3:50 am

    lol That’s so cute! Love reading your articles.

  11. Christine Ramsay

    On February 11, 2012 at 4:42 am

    I love this post post Karen. I could feel every pain that little cat went through.

  12. A Bromley

    On February 11, 2012 at 11:03 am

    Hello Mama Cat, It is so nice to see your advice column pop up here at Triond again. My name is Kodi Dog, yup I’m a dog but I like cats just fine. I never chase or pick on them. I’m a search and rescue dog, retired from the Navy Seals. I’m a hero so I am told. I belong to the grandson of A. Bromley. You’ve met her her at Triond. She has two awesome cats, Tux and Cally. I like your advice to cats column. Good advice. You are a very compassionate Mama Cat. Dogs should also listen to your advice. We are often treated in much the same way that cats are, especially if we are still puppies or those small breeds of dogs. I hope you keep your column going. You might want to read A. Bromley’s article about a cat named Tibs. I know Tibs. He is a marvelous cat. Miss Molly is kind of uppity but Tibs is cool. Here is the link.
    http://therealowner.com/cats/mister-tibs-the-tale-of-an-alley-cat/
    Best regards, Kodi Dog

  13. Brenda Nelson

    On February 11, 2012 at 11:43 am

    Oh the horror.. those poor cats, they are clearly suffering!
    I use to torture our poor family cat that way too when I was a kid.

  14. Val Mills

    On February 11, 2012 at 2:53 pm

    Great to log in here and find another momma Cat piece. Karen, you truly express those kitty’s feelings using such everyday experiences. I love the way you’ve used a family pic to come up with the story. Keep them rolling!

  15. PR Mace

    On February 12, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    Poor kitty cats. We never had cats by my daughter use to try and dress up our small dog Dobie and put him in her play baby bed. He always jumped out and then I came to save him from the mean children.

  16. Pete Macinta

    On March 3, 2012 at 10:43 pm

    Pretty cute!

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