Dear Momma Cat, How Do I Train My Human to Turn on The Water Faucet?

Dear Momma Cat,

I have found a really cool toy, but it won’t work unless I can get a human to come turn it on for me. I wait and wait, and sometimes I even fall asleep while waiting. Is there any way that you can tell me that I can learn to turn it on myself, or to train my humans to turn it on for me?

Signed,

Where did the water go?

P.S. Sometimes when I fall asleep in the cat sized round white thing, my humans will come in and turn the water on. I hate that!

Dear Water Kitten,

I know the toy of which you speak. There are several at my house as well. Humans call them ‘taps’, and the cat sized round white thing is a ‘sink’. The little rooms that have sinks and taps in them are called ‘bathrooms’. Bathrooms also have bigger round white things that look a bit like sinks, except that they sit on them and they don’t put their hands in them. Those are called toilets. Droolers like to drink the water from them, but no self respecting feline would do that.

Toilets do have a little lever on them that makes the water go around and around. Some felines have figured out how to push this lever and I have heard that this can be fun. But I’m sorry, I don’t know of any felines who have learned to turn the taps on by themselves. We all have to wait for our humans to come and turn them on for us.

I have noticed that my female human turns on the taps almost every time she goes into the bathroom to use the toilet. So what you need to do is to get her to go into the bathroom more often. When my humans drink a lot of that hot, bitter brown water, it makes them use the bathroom way more often.

Hope this advice helps. By the way, if you do fall asleep in the sink quite often, your humans will be amused, and they will turn on the taps for you to play in.

Meow!

Momma Cat

Dear Momma Cat 1