Dogs are very interesting animals to say the least. I have seen dogs that are smarter than some people I know, then there are the dumb ones. You look at them and wonder what is going on in their heads to get their tie out cable tied up so bad. I can not believe some dogs can tie a cable beyond the point of being able to untie it in less than half an hour. I guess they would make great scouts. But no matter how smart your dog is, chances are you love it like a family member. In my case my dogs were my family members. I talk to them they listen. They talk to me I try to figure out what they mean. In some ways it is like dealing with a woman, but that is another story for another time. I admit when I was younger I really did not have many friends. My family really was not that close, when we were we had tendencies of fighting so I preferred the company of my four legged friend over that of my family members. It was a lot more peaceful and I could get everything off my mind that was bothering me. When you live in the middle of nowhere and have nobody to talk to that was a life saver. I went through so much stuff on the farm. But we will not go into details about that. I agree to take care of your buddies needs they are kind of expensive at times but what do you expect, you go to the doctor too do you not? They get fleas and ticks, fleas are terrible to get rid of once you get them spread in your house. Just be sure you get in the habit of treating your friend for fleas and ticks. When you find a brand that works, keep with it. My little buddy got a case of the fleas. Five products later we found one that worked for him. It seemed that everything else seemed to work ok on the other two. My little buddy is named Gizmo, we call him Gizzy for short. Well it may not be shorter but it comes out easier than Gizmo when you see his little butt flying across the yard for the woods. He loves to travel. When I start driving truck I wanted so bad to take him with me, I know on the road it will be harder for me to get exercise, wither I do not have the time or just refuse to do it I know having him will force me into walking. That is what I want. He would help me with my fitness while I am on the road. It does not look like that is going to work out like I wanted but I will just have to look for other reasons to walk. That little guy would be like my personal trainer but his little butt is crazy if he thinks I am going to run like he does when we go for a walk. He can keep secrets like you would not believe. I let them slip before he ever thinks about telling anyone. He is a great listener, so he would be like my personal trainer and my shrink. Little guy does not know it but he is saving be a bundle of money. I admit these dogs are my best friends, they have never once said anything bad about me behind my back. They never want to borrow money, nor do they lend money. They just want to share their love with you. That is something I was not used to when I got a little older. I was babied as a baby then my older sister started getting everything handed to her. I had to work hard for everything I had, and most of the time I did not get to have it long. That is when my family really drifted apart, I had terrible feelings toward my sister. My mother and I did not talk for a while because of something she done that was not fair at all. I forgive and forget. They are my family and I am forced to love them. I am kidding of course, I am forced to deal with them. During this time I had nobody else but my big dog Marley. I swear this dog saved my life. I was going through a great deal of depression during this time. Life was going all wrong. Every time I saw happiness over the horizon I rub my eyes and realize it was just a mirage. Call me crazy but Marley, when I got him was a cute little fur ball that was so little and fuzzy. He went everywhere with me, rode 4 wheeler, tractor, trucks, we were together everywhere. I am confident in saying he saved my life. They say a friend can save a life, it does not even have to be a human friend, a friend in need is a friend in deed, and I needed a friend bad. It really felt like I could not trust anyone in life because every time I turned around I was getting betrayed by everyone I knew. I just wanted out of it. But that little puppy Marley is what I lived for. First thing in the morning I would make sure he had food. I did not have money so I would take food from the fridge to make sure he ate good to grow. Every morning he would get eggs, bread, and milk. He loved it. I enjoyed hearing him lap the milk up. Marley is a very mixed breed, that was another thing. He was colored black and brown, and his tail was about half a tail long. I wanted to see what he turned out like when he grew up. Before my life changed, before Marley was in it the depression I suffered from was so sever. I never wanted to get out of bed but I did anyway. Afterwards I still did not want to get up but I had to take care of Marley. Nobody else would. I often thought of suicide. One thing that may have stopped me was my fear of failure, I am not sure if it would be good or bad to fail your own suicide. I always wondered to some degree what the future would hold for me, while life is not perfect now I will admit to anyone, I am happier than I have probably ever been in my life. Things are not perfect, but you know what? They do not have to be perfect. If they are close to where I would like I thank God they are going similar to how I planned. If they vary from what I planned I try not to get mad but I just think about what I should be doing. If something does not work quite right, I see my options, then try to figure out if it is a test to decide wither or not I want it bad enough to carry on, or wither I should rethink what I am doing and figure out what I am doing right. I started going to church. I admit every time I visit that church I feel something. You may not believe in God it is only because you have not had the opportunity to see what can be done with the help God provides to you. I will also admit at first I thought it was a crock of crap. I go to this church and swear I can feel a connection with something higher, more powerful than myself. This one church has made such a difference in my life. It just so happens, I suffered from terrible back pain for a long time, I started attending and my pain went away. I feel so good when I go to that church, I feel like my life is going like it is supposed to now, I feel God is with me in everything I do, and I feel like he is watching over me. Even thought I questioned his existence just a few years ago, I believe he came to me through a furry little puppy, just to let me know that things will get better. Life may be to the point you want out everyday and every night you think of the least painful way to end your life. Just keep in mind nothing is so bad that you need to die. It is impossible for what ever it is that is wrong with your life, it is impossible for it to go on forever because the simple fact that everything is always changing. Yes it may get worse, and it probably will get worse before it gets better. My point being, just ride it out, you will not regret it when the time comes. When your life starts to fall into place, you will never look back on those days the same. Now I look back and wonder what would have happened if I had not stopped at the Dollar store. There was a lady there giving away puppies. What if I would have went straight home? Would I be here now? Would I be able to tell you your life will get better, you just have to believe. I know it is difficult. I also know, it was worth it. If you are considering ending you life, think about the ones around you first, think about all the roles you play in the peoples lives around you. If you feel you are not important to anyone, change that. Volunteer, do something, helping people will give you a feeling like no other. If you may know someone that could be considering suicide, it does not take much, just let them know you are there, invite them to do something they enjoy. A friend can make a difference. And finally to those of you who have been where I have I would like to hear your inspirational story, please contact me through the comment section on my page. Thanks.