How to Train Your Human; Advice From Momma Cat

Personal feline advice from Momma Cat on how to train your human. Today’s topic: how to train your human to open the door for you.

(All Photos by Author)

Dear Momma Cat,

I am in the house, but I want to go out. I know that this contraption opens to outside, but I don’t know how it works. There is a Drooler at my house who has somehow found out how to get my humans to open it for her, but how do I get my humans to open it for me?

Signed,  I Want Out

Dear I Want Out,

That is a tough one. The contraption in your photo is what the humans refer to as a door. Getting them to open it for you is one trick that the Droolers seem to have our humans perform for them several times a day just by barking and spinning in circles and running back and forth from the human to the door. This type of behaviour is obviously unbefitting for felines. 

Some felines have mastered the art of jumping up to press the button that makes humans open the door for other humans who are outside and want in. In all my long life of eight years I have only met one feline who was proficient at this feat. She told me that her human would open the door, look around in complete befuddlement when there would be no human waiting on the outside, just a feline! Oh, we meowed out loud at that one!

Sometimes my human leaves this little door open for me to come and go as I please, but then they put this metal mesh thing in my way.

If you are fast and silent enough, you could try waiting until your human opens
the door to get stuff from the little metal box on the outside of the house. My human does this every morning, but I can’t seem to get her to leave me be when I get out. She always chases me back in.

So I am sorry, little One Who Wants Out. There are some tricks that are difficult to train humans to do. If you are really desperate, you could try to get a Drooler to help you. They are stupid creatures who do tricks for their humans and whine when they are left alone, but they do seem to know how to get the humans to let them out.


Momma Cat

Other feline humour by Karen:

I want out

My cat is evil

Where is the cat?

The difference between dogs and cats 

Cats rule

Liked it


User Comments
  1. Brenda Nelson

    On January 20, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    Those are really great pictures. My cats have me well trained too.

  2. Val Mills

    On January 21, 2012 at 1:17 am

    Oh Karen, I love it! Rather than use his cat door, our cat comes around to the lounge door that opens on to our little courtyard, then sits and stares in at me through the window. My husband can resist, but I can’t! This piece is wonderful, love the style you’ve done it in.

  3. dazzlejazz

    On January 21, 2012 at 1:40 am

    My catty Jazz hands are clapping!!!
    Very funny – I especially love how cats see dogs as droolers!
    You are very clever :)

  4. Judy Sheldon

    On January 21, 2012 at 3:42 am

    It’s funny how we think we are training them, huh?

  5. somiasom

    On January 21, 2012 at 12:06 pm

    lolzz. awwwwwwww cute cat.. i love it.. i wish i could kissss your cat..Good post. Thanks for share. i liked it :)

  6. avissado

    On January 21, 2012 at 5:10 pm


  7. Hettie

    On January 22, 2012 at 5:57 am

    Great advice Momma cat thats for the help :)

  8. PR Mace

    On January 22, 2012 at 9:09 pm

    That was too funny. I need to write one from my dogs point of view. I did that once about a trip to the vet and got lots of good comments and views.

  9. Secre22

    On February 3, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    Possible solution is to yeowl loudly by the door until the humans get irritated enough to physically chase you out. You get what you want and they don’t know they’ve been manipulated.

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