Cats Versus Dogs Diaries

What they would write In their diaries.

A dogs Diary.

 7 am, Dog food! My favorite thing!
 8 am, A car ride! My favorite thing!
 10 am, A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
 12 pm, Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
 1 pm, Lunch! My favorite thing!
 2 pm, Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
 3 pm, Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
 5 pm, Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
 7 pm, Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8 pm, Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
 - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

A cats Diary.

Day 983 of my captivity…

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a good little hunter I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…

 

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  1. CHIPMUNK

    On April 27, 2011 at 3:33 am

    dogs are my best

  2. Brenda Nelson

    On April 27, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    I only own cats.. they seem pretty happy, their diary here would be more like the dogs one.

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