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Okay, so they start out as innocent little kittens… so cute and unstable. But they grow up. And they eat, shed, vomit, and try to trip you in the kitchen. But, it’s too late to get rid of it. You’re already in love with the miserable thing.

So what’s a cat owner to do? Here’s a few little ways to enact revenge on your cat.

1. Meow Back at Them

   If you have one of those cats who love the sound of their own voice (to your eardrums detriment), this will come in handy. Just turn to them, lean in a bit… and just meow right back at them. This should at least confuse your cat.

2. Save your Receipts

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   Take one of those little scraps of paper and rub it over your cat to build up static electricity. This will be all you need to get that receipt to “cling” to your cat’s back. Your cat will then spend the next minute trying to reach around to get that paper off… or may eventually try to walk away, but doing so with a lowered back.

3. Booby Trap

   If you’ve got one of those cats that love to knock things off your shelves or just keeps going on top of furniture they shouldn’t be on, than this is perfect! Take a heavy book, have it laying out more than halfway over the edge of a shelf, table or countertop. They will inevitably knock it off, and will be freaked out by the loud sound it makes. A couple downsides: this takes patience, and you take the risk of them tipping the book at 2 in the morning.

4. Flip ‘em Off

   This is my favorite. Do it. Just try it. You’ll be amazed how much satisfaction you get from flipping off your cat. Your cat will have no idea what’s going on, but that doesn’t matter. You’ll know…. Oh, you’ll know.

Have fun. Enjoy your revenge.

By the way, favorite cat quote: “Dogs have owners. Cats have slaves.”