Nowadays, it’s possible to buy almost anything. What is most surprising is that which was once thought of as exotic, can now be purchased for less than the price of an inexpensive Mercedes Benz. By that, we are referring to buying wild African Cheetahs. A cheetah (not to be confused with Cheetos) is a very large African animal of the cat family. Weighing in at up to 150 pounds and a length of 53 inches (excluding their tails). They are remarkably docile for such a large animal.
A Cheetah is a Terrible Thing to Waste
Recently when the African Wild Life Adoption Services (AWLAS) estimated the number of cheetahs on the African plains, they were surprised to find out that their population has increased over 3,420 % from the last time they did their estimates. That equates to over 123,129 known cheetahs prowling around in Africa. It has been determined that with such an over population of cheetahs, the populations of ring tailed howler monkeys, boiler top porcupines and razor backed gazelles will radically decrease. This could be an environmental disaster of biblical proportions, particularly for monkeys, porcupines and gazelles that happen to be in the immediate vicinity.
Pet Adoption is the Option
The preponderance of so many cheetahs in Africa and the potential of decimation among the monkey and gazelle populations have caused an outcry for a forced elimination of cheetahs. However, the African Cheetah Protection Society (ACPS) has raised the possibility that instead of killing cheetahs, western nations, particularly the U.S, could adopt these soon to be eliminated great cats. It turns out that Homer Wygas of AWLAS has put forward a plan for anyone with the necessary capital to be able to adopt a cheetah, as a house pet.
It turns out that Cheetahs, despite their size, are remarkably easy to domesticate, as long as there are no monkeys, porcupines or gazelles in the area. “Anyone, even a child, can take a cheetah out for a walk in the park, just as you would with a dog.”, claims Dennis Catspurr, chief adoption specialist, of the AWLAS. The only caution is that when you take it out for a walk and if, ”…a cheetah mistakenly sees a gazelle in the area and you let that cat run wild, it will disappear within 5 seconds as cheetahs can easily run at speeds of up to 80 MPH. You’ll have a devil of a time finding it again!”.
A Terrible Pet Care Mistake
This happened recently to a couple in Joliet, Illinois that had adopted a full grown cheetah and inadvertently let go of the leash and the cheetah apparently saw what it thought was a gazelle (it turned out to be a brown Toyota pickup truck traveling on I-80. The cheetah chased it for 167 miles, across the state border into Muscatine, Iowa. Fortunately for the owners, they were happily able to be reunited with their unusual pet, after the cheetah clawed up two of the tires on the hapless driver’s pickup truck. The Iowa office of the Big Cat Rescue Service (BCRS) was able to pry the speedy cat’s jaws off of the left rear tire of the pickup, without harming either the driver or the cheetah.
Therefore, if you decide to adopt a cheetah, don’t take it for frequent walks, unless you have installed BCRS’ Cheetah Anti Bolting System®, available at most exotic pet stores throughout the country. ACPS approved, the device is harmless to cheetahs or whatever very fast running animals you may own. If the cheetah takes off after what it perceives is a really tasty meal, a sensor inside the device which looks like a fancy pet collar, automatically deploys a drag parachute. The result is that the cheetah is slowed down to a maximum of five or six miles per hour, making it easy, even for a child to retrieve their pet. This device has a retail price in the $590 range, easily affordable for cheetah enthusiasts.
As long as you take proper precautions and can locate a ready supply of either gazelle or monkey meat, owning a cheetah is quite practical and certainly will make you the topic of conversation at all of the cocktail parties that animal rights activists love to attend. Also, it should be added that cheetahs are very loyal one-owner animals and if anyone attempts to break into your home, they’ll have your loyal, ferocious pet cheetah to answer to. If more people considered the advantages of owning a cheetah and actually took the final step of flying to Africa, to adopt one, this potential threat to cheetahs in Africa will be adverted. Certainly if this occurs, then all of the monkeys, porcupines and gazelles in Africa will also be doing High Fives.